As you send your children off to school each year, there are so many issues to learn about and deal with I sometimes wonder who is getting the greater education. Aside from the curriculum there are many issues that parents need to be involved with to help their children grow. One sometimes overlooked issue deals with bullies.
Bullying has become a growing problem for our school system and most importantly our children. While we can’t always protect our children from everything, we can give them the skills and confidence to handle many situations on their own. The days of boys being the only target of misguided bullies is long gone. These days’ young girls are just as prone to aggression as their male counterparts.
Understanding where bullies are coming from is a good start to prevention, but in most cases it is just a dead end. Some bullies are strictly in it for the attention. They may not be popular or were not accepted by the cheerleaders so they are going to show how important they are by torturing someone else. Many of those kids know what they are doing and some will grow out of it, but in the mean time, they wreak havoc on local schools. The most difficult bullies to deal with are the ones that don’t even have a clue that they are doing anything wrong. Sometimes it is because of the way they were brought up and sometimes it is due to their own sociopathic problems.
Regardless of the causes or reasons behind the bullies’ behavior, dealing with them remains the same.
1- As a parent encourage communication and take it seriously if your son or daughter talks to you about a problem at school. If your children are fearful they are not going to concentrate on their school work and will have trouble throughout life.
2- While running away is not a good long term option, avoidance is. If you can find a way to avoid a situation that puts you in harm’s way, that should be viewed as your first choice of action.
3- Bullies don’t like buddies. Most bullies rule by intimidation and power over someone they believe they can overcome. Making friends and walking with a buddy or partner can make most bullies look for an easier target.
4- Feeling good about yourself is also very effective and is sometimes underrated. While it is not necessary to learn martial arts to attend school, having the confidence that comes with proper diet and exercise programs should not be overlooked. When you feel good about yourself and walk around with confidence, you are no longer a good target for bullies.
Bullies have always been around and will probably always be around. Eventually most bullies end up friendless and without the power they so desperately want. The hope is to educate all of our children to understand the behavior is not acceptable and they do not need to put up with it. Fear at school reduces our children’s ability to learn and grow. Bullies waste valuable time and energy that our children need to develop and pursue lasting friendships. Take the time to talk with your children and listen to their problems, you may find that their insecurities have made them into the bully nobody likes.
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